Courtesy Is The Perfume Of Life, The Reflection Of Generosity

Courtesy is, above all, a personal value. While it is true that, as children, we are all taught basic rules of courtesy and coexistence, the key to making them effective and useful is being aware of them in order to practice them authentically.

Will is needed.

Courtesy is synonymous with kindness as well as appreciation towards the other person. It is, therefore, a form of universal respect that we should all practice to enjoy better interpersonal relationships.

Today in our space we suggest you take this essential dimension into account.

Courtesy, a way to bring positive energy

Something that we have all realized is the power that small positive gestures contain from day to day. A ” thank you ” a “how are you?” or a “take care of yourself” are those rituals that help us so much to connect with each other.

In addition, another aspect that we pointed out at the beginning is that without intentionality none of this would be possible. Because to recognize our fellow men you need a certain sensitivity.

You need closeness and the clear intention to confer respect, knowing what needs others present.

Next, we invite you to reflect on some very specific dimensions on the subject.

Why are there people who lack courtesy

Courtesy is more than just good habits that we are taught from childhood. These are aspects that go beyond  letting go before entering, thanking, giving up the seat or listening before speaking …

We could say that this dimension is, above all, a personal value that not everyone authentically practices.

• He who is not courteous does not empathize with his peers. In addition, it is common for him to prioritize himself, in a proud or defiant attitude.

• Courtesy is a strategy that allows us to better adapt to our contexts. The uneducated personality wants others to adapt to it.

Pier Massimo Forni is a doctor and professor at John Hopkins University in Baltimore (United States).

Among his many studies related to social behavior, his work “Choosing Civility: The 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct” stands out.

According to Dr. Forni,  the lack of courtesy sometimes leads to different types of social aggressiveness. In addition, there may be –in some cases– psychological problems or a clear lack of emotional maturity.

Courtesy types

It is curious, but there are two very specific types of courtesy. Stephen Levinson is a social relations scientist who distinguished two ways in which we can show this dimension:

• Negative courtesy: It is related to deference and we use it through phrases such as “if you don’t mind” “if you don’t mind me doing this” …

• Positive courtesy: In this dimension we seek, above all, to establish a positive relationship with those around us.

Positive courtesy goes beyond simple deference. We take care of language, gestures and actions, because we want to give the best of ourselves to others.

Because this is how we feel good, it is what we are and in this behavior there are no hidden interests.

Courtesy and personable people

Surely, on some occasion, you will have been surprised to meet an unknown person, who acted with exquisite affability, offering help or support spontaneously.

• At first we were surprised by these behaviors. We think they are looking for something in return. We believe that such welcoming spontaneity and nobility is not normal.

• Yet it is. Kind, personable, and genuinely emotionally open people exist and make this world a much better stage.

These would be some simple behaviors that would help us to be one of them. A personable and authentic person:

• Use respectful language where emotional openness is perceived: I understand, I understand …
• Show real interest, worry about whether someone is okay and whether we could do something to improve their situation or mood.
• Act sincerely. Sometimes courtesy falls into that condescension that leads to falsehood. We give thanks, good morning and ask for certain things out of simple obligation, not out of real interest.
• We must bear in mind that falsehood is always noticed, it is perceived.

To offer courtesy, respect and recognition to others we must be emotionally well. It is very difficult to offer empathy and optimism when what we feel, for example, are resentments.

Although it is clear that we will not be at the same level every day, the most appropriate thing is to work our personal and emotional balance every day. Only when we are well, we will give the best of our essence to others.

Our positive energy.